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A Year Ago...

12/22/2015

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A year ago, Josh and I were wrapping up our epic world tour vacation!  Check out our hashtag on instagram #mosebyvaca, 4 countries in 20 days. We had been saving up vacation time for our "someday" adoption, but had been told it could be another two years.  So, we cashed in our vacation days and headed off to see friends around the world. I literally boarded the plane in tears.  The hardship of adoption had become unbearable! I wanted to be a mom. I knew my little one was out in the world suffering and I didn't even know what to pray.

BUT we set off to see friends.  It was a great trip and allowed my heart and mind to think of other things. We landed in the middle east first to see some friends.  Gosh, it was so amazing.  We sat around in their kitchen most days just talking, playing cards, and being together. Just like we'd done several times in the states. 
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After a few days, we boarded another plane for India!  We spent the next week hanging with our doctor friends, dreaming about healing, and working with the HIV community. We talked a lot about the future.  With talk of the future, we couldn't avoid thinking about if our adoption would ever happen.  Someday...after our adoption, we can dream about India.  However, we enjoyed our time.  We even were blessed to meet the young lady we sponsor.  Isn't she just the most beautiful young lady?
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On to the next stop....We packed up the bags and headed to East Asia to surprise our niece and nephews for Christmas!  I mean really!!!  We had been plotting with my brother to surprise them for months.  It was the best.  I could hardly wait.  I secretly hoped that we would get our adoption call while visiting family.  Wouldn't that just be the best timing?!  I carried my phone around with me frantically hoping our social worker would call.  But she didn't and we had to just enjoy the family.
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Thru tears, we said goodbyes and boarded a plane to go back to India.  It was the last leg of the trip.  This was the rest part.  We love Kerala, India.  We have found the best retreat there! So, we landed and spent four days on the beach eating good food, taking naps, reading books, praying, and surfing (yes, we learned to surf). Talk about refreshing...Can I go back, please!!!
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It was a nice time, but we packed up to leave for home.  We were set to land in the states on Christmas Eve. On the 23rd of December, I woke up for a little exercise before we started the long journey home. I hopped on the treadmill, opened the window to overlook the beach, and opened my email.  There it was!  An email that said "CALL ME!"  It was from our social worker.  I jumped off the treadmill, started running to the room, trying to call her...darn phone wasn't working well!  As I went to open the door, Josh was running out.  She'd left him a voicemail saying "CALL ME!"  So, we did.  "Hey, Jenn.  Got your email.  What's up?"  She tried the small talk, but we knew something was up.  She finally got to the point-"Hey, we can't do anything official right now, but we have a son for you!! I'll send you his file." AHHHHHHHHH! This was happening. Oh my dear stars, I had to text my best friend, Laura.  We came up with a game plan, because we didn't have long before our plane.  Get ready, pack bags, and meet on the beach to open his file.  So, that's what we did.  I remember running down the resort stairs and finally getting to Josh on the beach. We sat there, opened Tariku's file and saw the sweetest little boy. Look at those lil fingers!!
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I was so thankful to be on the peaceful beach, rested, and out of cell phone reach.  Reading your child's story for the first time, no matter the story, is overwhelming.  I needed lack of communication with family and friends to be able to sit and mourn for my son...and rejoice for this glorious day! Here we are having just opened his file and then we did actually call my brother's family in East Asia.  (had to tell someone)
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So, we hopped on a plane with the best Christmas present for our families!  Oh my gosh! What fun timing.
I really cannot believe this was a year ago and my SON is sleeping in the other room RIGHT NOW!!  GUYS, it was a great, but such a difficult year.  The sorrow of adoption only intensified as we worked to bring Tariku home. You know what though?  The joy has intensified as well!

SOOO, this is my ultimate Throwback and it's not even Thursday yet!  Pretty cool, huh!
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This Week...we ate cheerios

12/18/2015

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My camera has been building dust on the shelves, since we returned from Ethiopia. I kept thinking that I needed to pull it out, but it just seemed too much. Last Saturday, friends came over for breakfast and they had their camera in hand. It inspired me! So, I pulled out the camera this week to see what moments of joy Tariku and I could capture together. ​Here is what we did this week!
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We ate a lot of cheerios!
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We figured Cheerios were more delicious while sitting on the coffee table!
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Whew! Mom makes a funny sound when I do this!
Love this kid!  Even if it's the normal everyday, he is so fun to be with. I'm pretty sure he is made up of cheerios and tuna...and water. I keep a steady supply of cheerios and tuna flowing during the day to keep us all happy.

So, moms, how did you keep the camera moving at home and out and about during the week?
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Baby Dedication

12/7/2015

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We spent yesterday morning with our  family and officially introduced them to Tariku!  I'm not always a big baby dedication fan, but we did it. There is no doubt that Tariku is His!  Our biggest parenting "how do we do this?" conversations are focused around raising Tariku to love and follow the Lord.  Yesterday wasn't a decision of "okay, we'll dedicate T to Him," but more a declaration and a moment of pr@yer for him. 

So, we all dressed up, invited Tariku's warriors, and stood in front of the congregation!  Roger shared a great message about Abraham's blessing living out through our kids. It was so timely.  We definitely want Tariku to be a blessing to everyone he comes in contact with.
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I was so proud for Tariku to wear his traditional Ethiopian dress.  The pants were so long; we opted for khakis.  He looked so handsome.  I hope he can look back on this day as a big spiritual moment of pride.  I also want him to feel pride for the Ethiopian heritage he has and know we tried to always make room for his story. I know He is going to use his story in a big way!
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What's a big moment in your life without a little humor?!  Tariku was a doll through everything, until it was time for the spotlight to be on him.  Almost immediately, he screamed and threw a little fit.    He's almost two and didn't understand why he had to be held the whole time.  He really wanted to go on stage!
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I was so thankful for Roger who took it all in stride and just went to the floor with Tariku!
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  "Let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and  glorify your Father in heaven,"
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How to Survive Co-Sleeping When...

9/25/2015

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...your son has diarrhea!  This is important stuff people.  I mean, I have 5 weeks experience with and am obviously an expert!

To begin, yes, we are co-sleeping!  It's okay...family decision.  We aren't worried about spoiling him! For now, today, it is working well for us.  Well, except all the diarrhea, it's working well.  Stinky, but well.  This is why I feel I should help other new moms out with a how to.

How to Survive Co-Sleeping, When Your Son has Diarrhea:

1. Send your mom out immediately to buy a mattress pad for you.  No, not for his crib and not the big one for your bed, but a small one that lays on top.  You think you only need two, but really four is going to be your golden number. See, when the explosion happens at 1:45 am, you don't want to be trying to change your sheets.  Get the mattress pad, put it on top of your sheets, and the kid on top.  Now, maybe you should just follow the instructions on the box, but this works for us.

2. Your are going to need a plan!  Who does what and where are your supplies?  You don't want to be frantically trying to find diapers, when diarrhea is going all over the bed.  I suggest a little box or tray from target.  Put your diapers, plastic baggies (for the nasty sucker), wipes, & cream.  I also suggest a small trash can to place by the bed as well.  In the Moseby house at 1:45 am, on the dot, here is the scene:

Kid: Fuss, legs go up, aim, and BAMMM!
Mom: Josh, it's go time! JOSH!! It's time.
Dad: What?! Oh, goodness...the smell!
Mom: GET THE KIT!
Dad: Where?
Mom: WAKE UP MAN! It's right by the bed.

3. Next, I know you think, since he hasn't peed on you since #1 diaper, he won't do it again...Be Warned!  HE WILL!  He senses your on coming cold, your tired eyes, and your slow to implement game plan. It's coming, all over you, the sheets, the comforter...and surprisingly no one else!  Cover it up, friends!

4. Be on Guard!  The POOP is not over.  Sure he's gone three times since the initial explosion, but there is more.  Don't be caught off guard.  He will, I stress WILL, spray poop diarrhea ALL over you, the peed laced comforter, the clean diaper, and...did I mention you!  Friends, this is hard to recover from, but look down.  The sorry rascal is smiling.  Oh, yes, all this woke him up and he is laughing at you. 

5. Finally, take a breath! Sweetly look at your husband/dad.  He has tired eyes, but is pee & poop free.  Hand it over, mom.  It's time for him to try to get the rascal asleep again and for YOU to take a shower at 2:15 am in the morning.

The struggle is real, people!  Five weeks into diarrhea and I have learned things the hard way.
Please Note: We are getting over all the sickness. Thank God! A little giardia meds and a little no dairy...and we're golden!
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FAQ: Part 2

9/9/2015

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This is fun...so let's keep going!
1. How do you say Tariku?  
There are two ways to say his name!  Well, there is the right way to say it and the way we say it. In Ethiopia they say Ta-ree-koo.  However, we say say Tu-ree-koo!  Does that make sense?  We actually say both ways, right now, because he doesn't always respond to us with the Oklahoma accent.

2. Are you co-sleeping?
We are!  It is going really well for us. He wakes up a bundle of smiles and gets to wake us up with the smile.  Last night, I'm pretty sure I was his footstool for a bit and then his pillow.  There have many times that he fusses and then just rolls into us to snuggle...bonding!  Bonding is the big reason why we have chosen to co-sleep.  We are not worried about breaking him of this.  He naps in his crib.  He would sleep at night in his crib, but we prefer him to be close right now for bonding.

3. How's his sickness?
Oh, this sickness...we are OVER it!  But it continues.  He is fussy, clingy, and smiley! We have no idea what is going on.  He has had many tests, but no answers.  Yes, we are trying the BRATS diet, but a certain cutie hates most of the food on that list. We have tried de-worming.  We are taking probiotics daily!  Our Dr. knows us well already! 

4. What is cocooning? #MosebyCocooning
Cocooning is an adoption term for a family buckling down and helping everyone learn about this new family life together.  So, we stay home a lot, we don't meet a lot of new people, only mom and dad meet needs, and we say YES a lot.  Tariku isn't spoiled!  Due to the nature of orphanage life (even the best), a child is told no a lot.  When they cry and no one responds, that is a no.  So, we try to say yes A LOT!  So, if Tariku fusses, we run to meet his need.  We don't let him cry it out.  If he wimpers, we jump in.  If he barely gets hurt, we swoop him up and comfort him...even if he is not crying.  That is something to learn; "this mom and dad are good at comforting.  I guess I can rely on them when I get hurt."  We also indulge him with rocking him to sleep three times a day, if not more. It is EXHAUSTING, especially since he is sick. We do not believe this will spoil Tariku.  He doesn't need to toughen up.  Adoptees sometimes learn from the hardship of their life that they can only rely on themselves.  We are trying to teach him otherwise!  (we realize this is odd, but it's okay)

5. Again, how are you?
Again, making it!  Tired of sickness, but we're okay.  He is so clingy that I get overwhelmed within the first few hours of the day.  Today he did well playing on his own on the floor.  That was very helpful for my personal space!  I am good though.  Could use a pedicure escape one evening? 

Am I being too honest?! :D  I appreciate you all.  If you have other questions, let me know.

~Momma Kara


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FAQ: New Mom Life

9/3/2015

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I have gotten some questions on Facebook and thought I would just write it all here!

1. Is Tariku feeling better?
    Oh, this is cute! Nope.  He is a bundle of smiles and laughter, but the diarrhea continues.  We talk to his Dr. often.  She thinks his gut is just all out of wack from the orphanage and all the change.  We are keeping him hydrated and fed, but it continues.

2. How are you?
    Oh, that's sweet!  I am okay.  If you know me, you know I like order and plans.  So, this adjustment to little order and little time to plan is hard.  You also know I like wearing dresses, fixing my hair, and putting on my basic make-up.  Some...most days I don't get that...so, that affects my mood. I am trying to make plans at night and also find clothes that I can wear like sweatpants, but look like I cared too much about how I look for staying home.  You can judge that; doesn't bother me! :D

3. How old is Tariku?
    18 months.  He looks big, but he is actually kind of small.  He is in the 25th percentile. He isn't walking yet, but trying his hardest.  Given that he barely cared to move and crawl a month ago, he is doing great and catching up quick.  Sooner Start is going to do an evaluation and hopefully help us catch up!  We have high hopes.

4. Are you off work? Staying home?
    I am taking 2 months off to be with Tariku and help him/us adjust. Kind of like maternity leave, but not.  Yes, I will be going back to work! :D  I love my job and the work of God I am blessed to be a part of in Tulsa.

5. So, like what happened to Tariku's family?
    Well, we will let Tariku tell you someday (if he wants)! For an adoptee, this is like asking casually about the most traumatic moment in their life.  Even for Josh and I, it is hard to be asked this question casually.  We will always be honest with Tariku about his story and give him the freedom to share or not.  We love his family dearly! 

6. Can I hold him?
Not right now...his Nai Nai and Mags mights hunt you down, if you hold him before them!  Just think...Tariku has spent most of his life in group care and not knowing what a mom and dad are.  We have a BIG VILLAGE of people that love him in Tulsa and would love to smother him with kisses, hugs, hold him, and help us care for all his needs. However, it is good for him to learn that God has put a mommy and daddy in his life to care for him, protect him, and love him no matter what!  Most babies learn this naturally.  Adoptees are a little different.  So, we want to make sure he knows who mom and dad are and what we do.  Then, we will slowly introduce him to people that can hold him.  Remember, you are a stranger to him...not to us, but to him you are.

7. What do you need?
    Prayer, first! Am I right?  Honestly, the food is helping a lot! I had a friend bring something over today and then ran to get me my favorite coke...that was very helpful (Fiesta Mart, 32 oz, cubed ice, coke).  Then, just check in on me via text message or even an occasional phone call.  Don't bring me sweets, because I WILL stress eat! I like morning walks, if anyone wants to go for a walk with us one morning. You are the best...it's the thought that counts! :D

We love the questions!  Feel free to ask more.  It may just take some time for me to get back to you!! :D

Love you...our village is the best!

~Momma Kara

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Home

8/29/2015

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We're home!  I'm sure, if you are reading this, you already knew that one.  I hope you've been following along on instagram (@karaonmission). It has been two weeks since we took official custody of our son...today he gave me a bloody nose and pooped all over me!  Welcome to motherhood.  Am I right?!

I will come back soon to share a little about how our "cocooning" is going, but wanted to share our airport party pictures from my good friend Sirah!
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Looking at this picture just gets me sentimental!  I feel like it needs arrows with links to stories about how they have helped us along this journey.  From a lifelong friend to my high school basketball coach...to new friends who left sleeping babies (with someone, promise) to come see us. 
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GRANDPARENTS!!
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It was pretty much a miracle that all our nieces and nephews were able to be there (not pictured Aviah & Judah). We did miss Uncle Todd & Aunt Kelli.
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Ev might have been the most excited at the airport...She was jumping up and down. There is a sweet picture of her hugging Uncle Josh!
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My nephew, Judah. When he saw Tariku, he came up and asked, "what is that?" He was pointing at Tariku. When I said, "That is my son." He just said a judgmental "OH!" and walked away. I laughed so hard.
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And...if you have great work friends, you know this! Gah, these people. They have walked this whole journey in the trenches with us.
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Mags & Pops, pics are coming your way!
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Thank you, Megan! She brought tambourines for everyone. We literally walked out to a band of tambourines and people cheering. (feeling a cowbell reference coming on!)
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I mean...the last time I was at the airport with these three was December and I was weeping! I was just sure our whole adoption was falling thru. Look at us now, friends!
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More of "our people!"
I think that is enough emotion and sentiment for one day!  We love our people and are so thankful for the team that helped us bring Tariku home...from random financial gifts, to recommendations, to so many listening ears & prayers! Thank you...we love you and are so glad to have you in our village!
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Moseby Party of Three

8/10/2015

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Well, as many of you know, we are officially legally a family of three now!  All that's left to do is bring our little Tariku home.  On July 2nd, we got called and were requested to be in Ethiopia by July 7th.  We ran home, did laundry, shopped, and packed our bags!  Off we went to meet our little man.  And...he's a doll! I put a small video together so you could take the journey with us!

I Get to be the One from Kara Moseby on Vimeo.

The good news is...we will get on a plane later THIS week to bring Tariku home!
Follow us on instagram with the hashtag #babymoseby and/or #mosebysinethiopia.

~Kara M  
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Headed to Ethiopia

7/4/2015

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Friends,
Pull up a chair and I'll share with you about the last two days of my life.  Everyone is asking for details and here they are...Thursday morning, I finished up a tour at work, sat down to rest, and was about to head out for my next meeting.  I was already running late, but needed a few minutes in the comfy chairs to rest.  My phone started ringing…then it stopped…then it rang again, from Canada. Darn telemarketers, is what I thought!  

Me: Hello…
SW: Kara, it's Lesley.
Me: Yah…
SW: Do you want to go to Ethiopia?
Me: BALLING MY EYES OUT…ugly cry style!
YES!!!  (STILL BALLING!!)
SW: Take your time…

(few minutes of me crying)

SW: Okay, I need you to go home, buy some tickets, and pack, because we need you in Ethiopia by Tuesday morning at the latest!  Can you do that?
Me: Tuesday?!!! Okay.  Yes, we can do that.
SW: Are you sure?  If not, we can move your court date.
ME: If you said to be in Ethiopia tomorrow, I would make it happen!!
(In between all this, I was just crying!l)

So, I hung up the phone, stood up, looked at my coworker, and she said "Can I hug you?!" :D

Called Josh, called our parents, called a few friends, texted a lot of friends, forgot to call a few people, and cried more!  It took me over two hours to leave work.  We have our biggest mission trip of the summer coming next week…lots to prepare for.

Couple of  coworkers took me to lunch and we discussed all that needed to be done while I was gone.  Then I went home, freaked out, texted mom and said "Hurry over!  I don't know what to do!"  I also emailed an adoptive mom friend who went through this last month (frantically emailed her).  She called and said "Are you okay?!" Me: "Yah, I just don't know what to do.  I'm just walking around my house." Buy plane tickets and pack…is what she told me!  I finally relaxed in Issa's rocking chair and listened to her tell me what the trip was going to be like.

So, we leave tomorrow.  My half of the suitcase is packed.  I assume Josh is packing today.  Today, my goal is to read three chapters for my child psychology class, take a few quizzes, and rest!  

Here is what we need prayer for:

1. We land Tuesday and head to see Issa, after a quick stop at the hotel. Pray for this first meeting.  I don't think all my days in the church nursery have prepared me for this moment.

2. We will say goodbye to him Wednesday, most likely.  This is not a walk in the park, I assume!

3. We will not be bringing Issa home this trip.  The US embassy, after court this week, will need to get his passport and visa ready.  This could take 1-2 months.  Will you pray for a quick turn around? Miraculous?  You see, my brother (that lives in China) lands in Tulsa on Tuesday and will be here about a month.  Then, he won't be back for two years.  It would be really nice, if he and his family could meet Issa in person!  Even if only for a few minutes…

Thank you to lots of people!  A few of you have let me whine and complain and talk about this all the time.  I bring it up randomly at lunch and you listen…you have stormed the throne of God asking for this day…it's here!  

There is still more tears to come, more waiting, but, for now, we go to meet our son!!

~Kara

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To my Issa on Mother's Day

5/10/2015

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Hey my Issa of Naz...! What a day! Ms. Erin told me to take a few minutes to really grasp the fact that it is my first Mother's Day.  There's a lot you and I don't know about each other right now, but I figure someday we'll be here.  We'll be sitting at this table with two cookies.  You with your milk and me with my fake coffee (aka Coke).  Then we'll talk face to face and giggle together...maybe not this in depth, but our version of it.

Do you know that today is Mother's Day?
It is...you are suppose to be here for me to hold!  Daddy is suppose to sneak you out of bed too early to surprise me in the morning.  Today was suppose to go differently. But, sometimes things don't go the way we planned...you know that more than me, I know!  BUT your friends and daddy have tried to cheer me up today.  Your friend, Hazel, gave me a coffee gift card that the church was giving all the moms.  I'm not sure if I can trade that in for a coke, but you know I'll try! ;) Ms. Andrea, your children's pastor, gave me a big hug.  Ms. Kelley gave me a flower from you.  Your friends, James & Elie, played with me in the nursery. I think they know that, if you were here, you'd be on the floor wrestling and playing catch with me.  So, they filled in for you.  Next year, that will be you and me!

Do you know that sorrow you feel deep inside?  I feel it too!
Oh my sweet lil man!  I worry that you and I are going to have to learn a new normal.  For so long, we have gotten used to that ache, that sorrow in our hearts.  We have learned to live with it.  I am afraid that sometimes it is too comfortable for us. I worry that, when we are finally together, you and I might not know what to do. You see, sometimes we get used to pain in our lives and we don't want to give it up.  I live in the same sorrow that you live in daily.  That cranky ache that steals our joy!  Its there, even when we don't recognize it.  How could we not feel it?  It's not like we are unaware of the pain we've been through. I hope you know that I recognize your pain...I won't brush it away as if it isn't valid.  We will walk that road of healing together. We are going to have to start choosing joy!  Sorrow is okay for a season, but joy comes in the morning, you know?  I pray that, when we are together at last, God will help us navigate joy again!

Today, I am your mother.  We are a mother and son separated by millions of miles and we have no control.  If we did, I'd be sitting next to you in the floor, with cookie crumbs on our faces, hopefully, a couple of smiles, and a new joy in our hearts!

I love you!

Mom
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