Hey friends! How sweet you all are. You beg to see pictures of Issa, you pray, and you try so hard to relate to the journey I'm on. You try, but it's hard. It's even hard for Josh to understand me right now!
Right now is hard! We won't get any news on Issa for probably another month and a half. So set your watch...not to ask me, but to stalk my Facebook page.
I keep getting a comment and I thought I would talk about it with you here on the blog. If you have said this to me, don't worry; don't apologize. I just think telling you my heart will help you understand the pain I feel right now. It's really deep pain, even if I don't show it.
Just about every other day someone says, "oh, it's like you are pregnant!"
No, it's not! It's like my baby, my son, is ten million miles away and I can't get to him. •••That's what it's like•••
Mothers, can you even imagine?
'Gah, harsh Kara!'
Yep! It's that hard. I can't control his environment. I can't rock him to sleep. I can't control what he eats. I can't...I can't...it's that long list of blessed things you do all day long that I can't!
It's an insane feeling! I felt that insanity so intensely today. Did you see my Instagram post?
This intense wave of sorrow hit me, when our friends had their first dance tonight. This beautiful song has reminded me of my child for three years now. I haven't listened to it in awhile. When it came on, the wave crashed and the tears couldn't be stopped! There are two lines that play over and over "do you know we belong together? Do you know my heart is yours?" It is, sweet Issa, my heart is stuck in Ethiopia with you!
So, that is where our adoption is! It's the pits right now. I have another comment to address, but we'll save that for another day. You are my warriors, my people, my family! Sometimes it's just hard to show you the pain that lies underneath my smile.